He's Two of the Same
by SamuraiGirl
Summary: Kaoru and Kenshin hate each other, but when Kaoru gets an Instant Message account...AU, Kenshin and Kaoru, COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Do you think I'd be writing this horrible piece of crap if I owned RK? NO! I own the plot (if there is one.).  
  
Author's Notes: Rated PG for swearing. If you are having trouble translating the Japanese phrases, I have included the definitions at the bottom. This is an AU fic. For anyone that doesn't know, that stands for Alternate Universe. It means that we are NOT in Feudal Japan, we're in 2003. This fic takes place in America, New York (you'll see), and all the characters except Ayame, Suzume, Yahiko, and Tsubame are younger. What? Do 20-year-olds prank each other? Well, I'll shut up now, on to the story!  
  
He's Two of the Same- Chapter 1- He/She Makes Me Lose My Lunch!  
  
"Kenshin, baka-tomato-atama, go dive off a cliff!" Kaoru Kamiya screamed at her classmate. Both her and Kenshin Himura were fourteen, hated each other, and were voted the school's cutest "couple" by everyone.  
  
"I could say the same for you!"  
  
Kenshin was short, had blood-red hair tied in a low ponytail, and two scars in a cross shape on his left cheek. His eyes were large and violet, and although handsome, Kenshin wasn't liked much by many of his fellow students. Kaoru was short as well, and had long black hair tied up in a dark blue ribbon, with sapphire eyes. Both Kenshin and Kaoru moved with their families from Japan, so they both had taught some phrases to the other students. Before you know it, the whole high school using them.  
  
Now, it was bad enough that both Kenshin and Kaoru went to the same school, and had almost all the same classes. They lived with their families in the same apartment complex, and their rooms were right next to each other. Kenshin and Kaoru had the same ventilation system, so it was, unfortunately, easy to communicate. Yep, they insulted and annoyed each other 'till the cows came home using that thing. Not to mention, their parents were best friends, and Kaoru's little brother Yahiko was head-over- heels in love with Kenshin's little sister, Tsubame.  
  
Now, back to the present.  
  
"That's the best comeback you can think of, baka-tomato-atama?"  
  
"No, shut up, I don't want to fight all through lunch! Ever heard of eating?"  
  
"Don't start shouting matches if you don't want to compete, tomato-futa!"  
  
Kaoru bellowed her final insult, and left Kenshin to his lunch. Ever-so- popular Sanosuke Sagara, captain of the soccer and basketball teams, walked up to his best friend, who was eating like the world would end.  
  
"Kamiya's a weird one. She may have a thing for you, always calling you something to do with a tomato because of your damn hair-color. Whoa, buddy, don't choke yourself with your appetite!"  
  
"So does that mean Megumi has a thing for you because she always calls you tori-atama? I think you see my point. By any chance, did you eat your tapioca yet, Sano?" Kenshin asked with a smirk.  
  
"Hell, no! I am not going out from cafeteria food poisoning! I swear, the boy's bathroom is haunted by little Jimmy III, who died from the cafeteria pudding ten years ago! Wait, you don't wanna eat it, do ya? Cuz you know that I will have cause you bodily harm if you put any of that crap in your mouth!"  
  
"I'm not a psychopath, Sano. It will look nice on Kamiya's head though, don't you think?"  
  
Sanosuke finally caught on to Kenshin's scheme, and plastered on a smirk of his own.  
  
"Uhhhhh, Sano?"  
  
"Yeah, buddy?"  
  
"There are three signs on your back; they say "Kick me hard", "My name is Seamore Butts", and "Butt nugget"."  
  
"Figures..."  
  
------  
  
"I swear, not even Aoshi-kun is any decent!" yelled Misao Makimachi, joining her best friend Kaoru at a lunch table. Kaoru opened her lunch bag, and pulled out a sandwich, water bottle, and a small bag of potato chips from it.  
  
"Boys. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em." Kaoru sighed.  
  
'I must admit, Kenshin does look kinda cute.' she thought, turning a little red-cheeked. Misao instantly noticed the change in her friend's pigmentation, and smothered a giggle.  
  
While Kaoru was off in La-La Land, she didn't fail to mutter extremely low in volume that sounded like, "Kenshin is pretty cute."  
  
Misao's giggle turned into a full-blown laugh. This snapped Kaoru out of her daze.  
  
"Huh? Whazzo funny, Misao?"  
  
"You.hahaha.Ken.haha.shin.CUTE!" Misao managed to stutter out. She was laughing uncontrollably. Kaoru fit the pieces of words together, and paled immensely. She picked up her water bottle, and squirted Misao in the side as a warning signal.  
  
"Not-another-word. Unless you want me to tell my brother about your puppy- love affection to him." Kaoru snarled. Misao saw the deathly look in her friend's eyes, and took the hint with gratitude. She quickly changed the subject.  
  
"So, did you get an IM account yet?"  
  
"No, Misao-chan. I can't get the stupid thing to work!"  
  
"I could show ya after school, after all, TGIF!"  
  
Kaoru's smile grew like a weed. She quickly nodded yes, and walked to her next class.  
  
OWARI (for now)  
  
Do you like it? Please review, I'll take anything, good or bad. I am very aware these characters are OOC; they only act like that in front of each other. In other words, Kenshin won't be mean to his younger sisters, only to Kaoru and the other girls. The chapters will get longer, I swear, this was more of a Prologue. And for some people who MIGHT remember, I had this posted as my first fanfiction but accidentally deleted it, then lost it in my other computer files (I accidentally put it in my music files, doh!). I re-found it, and decided to write all of it before I posted chapter one. This isn't a long fic at all, in fact, I should only have to update for five days (one each day in the afternoon).  
  
Translations:  
  
baka-tomato-atama: stupid tomato brain (tomato in Japanese is the same as in the English language)  
  
tomato-futa: tomato-top  
  
tori-atama: bird brain  
  
-kun: used for younger people or colleagues  
  
-chan: 1:a term used for people younger that 15. 2:a term of endearment (used between close friends also)  
  
owari: end 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Ruroni Kenshin or Inuyasha (this will not be a crossover, read and see, you don't have to know anything about the cartoon). If you would like to sue me, you can have the three pennies I currently have in my possession. Please respect the rightful owners of the screen names, they are not mine.  
  
Author's Notes: Still PG, still swearing. I will still include translations for the Japanese words/phrases I use. By the way, here are the family trees (excluding the parents, you don't see much of them in this fic): Kenshin is 14; his sisters are Tsubame (11), Ayame (7), and Suzume (5). Kaoru is 14; her brothers are Yahiko (11), and Aoshi (17), and her adoptive cousin is Sanosuke (15). There is really nothing more for me to say, so go read the story already.  
  
He's Two of the Same- Chapter 2- Meeting BattousaiBoy  
  
School was out for the weekend, and Kaoru and Misao were happily walking to the apartment complex where Kaoru lived. Their other friend, Megumi, was right behind them.  
  
Megumi started, "So, you're finally getting an account, eh Kaoru? What are you going to put as a screen name, tanukibrat? Or maybe."  
  
"Megumi, I honestly don't know yet, so please, keep suggestions to you, kitsune." Kaoru used Megumi's dreaded nickname that was created by her adoptive American cousin, Sanosuke. Of course, Megumi hated her nickname.  
  
"I am NOT a FOX!"  
  
"Go, Bokken-Girl!" Misao cheered for Kaoru using her nickname, which was used because she could fight well with a wooden sword.  
  
Kaoru stopped dead in her tracks, and a light bulb flashed repeatedly above her head. Once again, Kaoru smiled like a weed grew, and she hugged Misao. Of course, Misao had the most confused face in the history of fanfictions.  
  
"Ummmmmmmmmmmm, Kaoru? What are you doing to me?"  
  
"Misao, you're a GENIUS! BokkenGirl, I doubt that's taken, and it's the perfect screen name for me!"  
  
Misao put on a smile, and glared at the three boys across the street, since two of them were snickering. Then, Misao realized who the silent one was. Kaoru's older brother Aoshi Kamiya, the one boy who she had a HUGE and I mean HUGE crush on. Misao was staring at Aoshi. Aoshi was staring at Misao.  
  
"Makimachi, hurry up!" called Megumi to her friend who was in a big trance. Misao snapped awake and ran forward.  
  
------  
  
Kenshin, Sanosuke, and Aoshi were walking to the apartment complex where Kenshin lived. Across the street, were the three stupid girls they all knew and hated. Well, Aoshi did sort of respect Misao in an odd way. Of course, Aoshi loved his little sister, just never showed it and never would.  
  
"Lookie, Jou-chan's hugging her own gender!" whispered Sanosuke. Kenshin snickered a little, as he and Kaoru hated each other from that incident when they were eight-years-old.  
  
(Flashback)  
  
Kaoru was on the softball team, and the fourth grade was scheduled to watch today's game. There was a specific reason why they had to watch today's game. This was the championship's final game, and their school's team had climbed the ladder to the last game.  
  
Kenshin, Kaoru's neighbor, wasn't too fond of having to sit on the freezing cold metal bleachers in the beginning of March. He and Kaoru had begun to develop a friendship, but it wasn't exactly blossoming. Their parents forced it, and they both pulled pranks on each other to kid around.  
  
Kaoru was up at bat. She hit the ground a few times, and made the wooden bat's label was facing behind her (explanation at bottom if needed).  
  
Kenshin, who had a cold ass and was tired of sitting, yelled, "Are ya gonna kiss the catcher or what? SWING!!!"  
  
This obviously distracted Kaoru. She quickly turned around, and noticed it was that tomato-boy neighbor of hers. What she didn't notice was that the bat had slid in her hands, and the label was facing front.  
  
The pitcher threw the ball, and Kaoru hit it hard. *CRACK*! The bat snapped in two pieces, and splinters of wood flew everywhere.  
  
"Kuso!" Kaoru cried as a few splinters entered her hands and right cheek. Kenshin stared bug-eyed in amazement.  
  
'I made her do THAT! Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no!' Kenshin thought, scared to death that his neighbor was hurt.  
  
Well, since Kaoru broke the (high in priced) bat, the team lost the tournament because of disqualification, and Kaoru got kicked off the softball team. And so started the bitter grudge against Kenshin.  
  
(End Flashback)  
  
Kenshin then remembered something.  
  
"Still got the tapioca, Sano?"  
  
"Hai and it's beginning to rot!"  
  
"That's even better, that it is."  
  
------  
  
"Okay, Kaoru, you click here and here, and then you are DONE!" Megumi announced proudly. Kaoru had the new screen name of BokkenGirl, and had a buddy icon that had a baseball bat and baseball on it.  
  
------  
  
Outside Kaoru's door, Kenshin and Sanosuke were busy booby-trapping the apartment's shut door.  
  
"So ya see, Kenshin, whether someone opens the door or closes it, the pudding can still come down on their head." Sano explained. Kenshin nodded his head understandingly. He honestly didn't know why he was still going to pull through with the scheme that had run through his head for about three seconds that he decided was a good idea.  
  
"Aw, kuso! I have to leave for soccer practice, so I can't see it go on Kamiya's head! Well, see ya Kenshin!" Sano cursed, looking at the clock in the hallway. Aoshi, who had been waiting inside Kenshin's room (unaware that Kenshin and Sano weren't going to the vending machines like they said), walked into the hallway.  
  
"I have to go as well. Bye."  
  
"NO, WAIT AOSHI!!!!!!"  
  
Kenshin yelled his warning, but it was too late. Aoshi opened the door, and down came the small plastic cup of white tapioca pudding. Well, mostly white, partially green. Aoshi took the little cup off his head, and smacked Kenshin on the head with the nearest object (which just happened to be his little brother's shinai).  
  
"Oroorooroorooro..." Kenshin rambled on, rubbing his bruised skull. Aoshi walked into the apartment, and headed into the shower. Megumi looked at her watch.  
  
"Oh man, I have to go to a student council meeting, bye!"  
  
Misao answered, "Wait a sec; we're on the same committee! Right behind you, Megumi!"  
  
Kaoru slumped her shoulders, and opened her laptop computer. She signed on to Instant Messenger, and went into an anime chat room about her favorite show, Inuyasha. There was only one other person in the room, named BattousaiBoy.  
  
BattousaiBoy: Hi, BokkenGirl!  
  
Some people normally wouldn't have answered, but Kaoru was brave.  
  
BokkenGirl: Konnichi wa (that means hello) BattousaiBoy!  
  
BattousaiBoy: I know what that means, BokkenGirl-chan. I come from Japan.  
  
BokkenGirl: That is SO COOL! So do I!  
  
BattousaiBoy: Honto ni?!  
  
BokkenGirl: Hai!  
  
BattousaiBoy: Well, since we're the only ones in this chat room, why don't we get out?  
  
BokkenGirl: That's a good suggestion!  
  
--------*--------*--------  
  
Kenshin moped to his computer.  
  
"Screen name: BattousaiBoy. Password: ********."  
  
He went into an Inuyasha chat room, and found he was the only person there. He waited for someone to enter the room, and soon, someone named BokkenGirl entered...  
  
OWARI (for now)  
  
As usual, any reviews and constructive criticism is greatly accepted!  
  
Translations:  
  
tanuki: raccoon  
  
kitsune: fox  
  
bokken: wooden sword  
  
hai: yes  
  
Jou-chan: little missy  
  
kuso: Damn it!  
  
oro (this was said when Aoshi hit Kenshin): Huh! or What!  
  
konnichi wa: hello  
  
-chan: 1: a term used for people younger that 15. 2: a term of endearment (used between close friends also)  
  
honto ni: really; truly  
  
owari: end  
  
By the way, the whole thing about the label on the wooden bat? I'll explain. On wooden bats, the company label is burned into the bat, therefore making the bat weaker near the label. If you swing with the label forward, you are just begging for that bat to break. 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Ruroni Kenshin? Heck no, I ain't that creative. No to Inuyasha too (you don't need to know anything about the show). Also, if these screen names really exist, please respect their REAL owners.  
  
Author's Notes: This is still PG for anyone who doesn't bother to read ratings. Another note, this fiction will probably start to get extremely confusing to anybody who doesn't know at least a little bit about Instant Messaging. If anybody has any questions, you can ask me through review, e- mail, or Instant Message. Well, since I have said all I need to say, here's chapter three.  
  
He's Two of the Same-Chapter 3-Next Time, Take the Stairs  
  
BokkenGirl: So, what school do you go to?  
  
BattousaiBoy: Two Roads High.  
  
BokkenGirl: No way, that's my school too!  
  
BattousaiBoy: Should we tell each other our real names? I mean, what if we actually hate each other?  
  
BokkenGirl: In that case, no. I seriously doubt I hate you, though.  
  
BattousaiBoy: Same. So, who is your favorite Inuyasha character?  
  
BokkenGirl: I like Shippo.  
  
BattousaiBoy: Inuyasha. Do you play any sports?  
  
BokkenGirl: I used to play softball when I was eight. You don't want to know.  
  
Well, that was one unsuspecting internet friendship. But, it grew. Of course, when Kenshin and Kaoru were off the computers, the insults and pranks commenced. They were also both extremely dense.  
  
Two weeks later  
  
"Thank heavens for the weekend. Misao, are you okay? Hey, wake up Misao!" Kaoru yelled at her friend who was staring into space. Drooling all over her uniform.  
  
"Misao, what the hell is wrong that you are ignoring your friends and getting spit on your good uniform?" Megumi yelled. Misao woke up, but kept drooling.  
  
"Well, maybe if any of you guys read the gym schedules, you would find out. I can't wait for Monday..." Misao said lazily.  
  
"Good Tengoku above, Misao, you HATE gym! We'll only be swimming!" Kaoru screamed in her friends face, attracting much unwanted attention from people walking past. Misao stood on her toes and whispered something in her friend's ears.  
  
"Swimming equals swimsuits. Male gender plus swimsuits equals swimming trunks. Male gender plus swimming trunks plus joined classes with the grade above us equals MISAO LOVES GYM!" Misao got another dazed look on her face, and stared at the sky. So did Megumi. Kaoru just kicked a broken piece of glass along the sidewalk, focusing on getting home and talking to BattousaiBoy. They had made friends fast and always talked to each other at least once a day.  
  
'Misao's crush on Aoshi is too much! Oh, arigatou Kami-sama, that's the apartment complex! I want to get away from these two right now.'  
  
"Sorry guys, gotta split, see ya later!" Kaoru yelled and ran. She ran into the elevator, and pressed the button for floor nine. The elevator went up two floors, and then stopped. Kenshin stepped in, and decided to keep his mouth shut, Kaoru did as well. The glass elevator moved in the dusty, disgustingly old shaft, not a very pretty sight. Both of them kept their distance from each other, but then, the elevator came to a halt. The lights installed in the top went out; the lights behind the little buttons went out.  
  
"ORO!!!!!!"  
  
"Oh, yeah, that will REALLY help our problems. Baka-tomato boy, you see if the service phone works. I'll try to IM my brother to tell him I'm stuck in the elevator shaft with a moron." Kaoru snapped, pulling her laptop out of her backpack. She signed on to IM, to find a horribly shocking fact out. At the top of her buddy list, it said "Buddies (0/5)". She settled for e-mailing Aoshi and Yahiko, praying they'd be home soon.  
  
Hey Bros!  
  
I'm stuck in the elevator! PLEASE HELP ME! Not to mention, I'm stuck with our baka neighbor! TELL SOMEONE AT THE FRONT DESK OR I'LL KILL YOU BOTH WITH MY BOKKEN! Thanks!  
  
-Kaoru  
  
"Hey red-head, nobody was on, I e-mailed my brothers, and they should be home. How's the service phone?"  
  
Kenshin slumped his shoulders pathetically, and lumbered over to the service phone. On the other side of the line, there was the fascinating beep that said the phones were dead. He smacked his head against the wall, making sure the glass didn't crack.  
  
"I guess that answers my question. Maybe if I play my music stored in my computer loud enough, someone will hear and we will get out of here."  
  
Kaoru was cut off by the battery in her computer running out of juice and the screen turning dark. She shut the laptop and stuffed it in her backpack angrily.  
  
"What happened, Tanuki?"  
  
"It's KAORU! And my computer battery needs to be recharged! We'll run out of air and food and."  
  
"Unless you'll miss your make-up, we shouldn't have much of a problem. We won't starve for a long time; the elevator should be fixed before then. There is a trap door up there; we can use it to get air. Too bad we can't fit out of it." Kenshin sat down on the floor of the elevator.  
  
'Ayame, Suzume, Tsubame, I have to get back. Wait, Sano is coming over today! He can take care of them.'  
  
Kaoru noticed Kenshin didn't look too good. He was almost crying, but after his mental war, breathed a sigh of relief. He kept his back to the wall, and drew circles on the ground with his finger. Kaoru leaned against the wall, scared out of her wits. She slowly looked at the ground out of the glass. They were so high up!  
  
"Uhnnnn..ehhh..ohhhhhnnnn!" Kaoru moaned looking at the green tiles of the lobby.  
  
"You're scared of heights, that you definitely are. Come here for a second." Kenshin muttered. Kaoru walked across the elevator, nervous that it would collapse. Kenshin punched open the trap door, and pointed out of it. Kaoru looked. A large variety of steel beams were keeping the elevator up.  
  
"Now, Tanuki, do you really think those beams up there will give in easily?"  
  
"I-I-Iie."  
  
"I thought not."  
  
Kenshin slammed the trap door shut, and Kaoru resumed sitting in the corner, still feeling uneasy, but not because of the height she was currently at. Kenshin was being NICE! Maybe he wanted to apologize for what he did.  
  
"Okay, tomato-boy, this is a truce. No more name calling or insulting 'till we're out of here. Clear?"  
  
"Crystalline glass, Kamiya."  
  
------  
  
Sanosuke miserably knocked on the door to Kenshin's apartment for the 30th time.  
  
"Chibis? You there? It's Sano! Lemme in, please!"  
  
Ayame opened the door cautiously and peeked out. She flung the door open and jumped on Sanosuke. Suzume walked to the door and did the same. Sanosuke almost fell over from the sudden weight.  
  
"Ok, Chibis. Say, where's Kenshin-oniisan? We were supposed to hang today."  
  
"Oniisan hasn't come home yet. We think he may have gotten in trouble." Ayame said.  
  
"Yeah, 'niisan may have gwotten in twubble!" Suzume added, in tears.  
  
Sanosuke's eyes bulged. 'Kenshin can take good care of himself. I don't think he's gotten in "twubble" anytime recently. He must be somewhere around here. That's it!'  
  
"Chibis, you're both comin' with me. Wait, where's Tsubame anyhap?"  
  
"On a date with Yahiko-chan, hehehehe." Ayame giggled. Sanosuke rolled his eyes. He helped Suzume put on her shoes, and went out the door, Ayame and Suzume trailing behind him. Sanosuke ran to the elevator, and pressed the down button. He noticed that the lights behind the buttons were dead, and the elevator wasn't going any higher.  
  
"Oh no! Now we have ta twake the stwairs."  
  
"Wait Suzume. Listen." Sanosuke had his ear pressed to the elevator doors, where he heard something that sounded a lot like.  
  
"Kenny-oniisan!" Ayame yelled.  
  
"Hey, Sano, it looks like you found me and Tanuki! Go tell someone who can help us!"  
  
"Are you sure you and Jou-chan don't want to spend a little quality time in there?" Sanosuke yelled. Kaoru fumed. Kenshin backed away from her very, very slowly.  
  
"Sano no HENTAI! If I had my bokken, you wouldn't be here right now! I know where you live!"  
  
Sanosuke got very nervous, very, VERY nervous, and made a dash for the front desk. The woman sitting there, or Mrs. Messina, looked up. Many of the high school kids knew her because she used to work in the elementary school as a third grade teacher. She was the only one who could control Sanosuke and Kenshin outside their parents. Mrs. Messina was also the only American adult in town who could speak some Japanese.  
  
"Why, konnichi wa, Sanosuke, are you here to cause more chaos and trouble for our residents? The janitor wasn't very happy about the pudding incident you know."  
  
"Not now, ma'am, Kenshin and Jou-chan err, Kaoru are stuck in the elevator!  
  
Mrs. Messina looked very frightened.  
  
"Oh dear. Kenshin's parents aren't home yet! Did you check on Ayame-chan, Suzume-chan, and Tsubame-chan?"  
  
"Hai! The chibis are talking to Kenshin outside the elevator shaft, and Tsubame is out with Yahiko."  
  
"That's a relief; I'll see what I can do. Wait; aren't Kenshin and Kaoru in a bitter feud over what happened at the softball game a few years back?"  
  
Sanosuke nodded his head, his eyes very big. Mrs. Messina took a phone off the wall and pressed a button, obviously talking to an electrician. She took a few seconds off of the conversation to point at where Ayame and Suzume were standing, and then smacking his lower back as an indication to go to them. He took off like the wind.  
  
"Alright, Kenshin, Jou-chan, I talked to Mrs. Messina, she told me to come back here while she was talking to some dude on the phone."  
  
Kenshin turned pale. "Y-y-y-you told-d-d th-hat lady t-t-t-t-to help!?"  
  
"She was the only one there! Besides, I think she has gotten over all the incidents that happened when you were in her class!"  
  
Kenshin kicked the floor, and drove Kaoru into a panic when the elevator started back up right after he kicked it. Then, when she realized that they were moving again, was extremely happy. The elevator stopped, and who else was waiting for them but their third grade teacher, along with Sanosuke, Ayame, and Suzume.  
  
"KENSHIN HIMURA! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HAPPY I AM YOU DIDN'T TRY TO KILL KAORU; SAME GOES FOR YOU MS. KAMIYA! Ahem.Kenshin, you are very lucky that Sanosuke here was smart enough to take care of your sisters, I understand your parents are on that two month business trip and won't be back for seven more weeks, so I am extremely sorry this happened. Class dismissed, I mean, you can go to your apartments now."  
  
Kaoru was very interested. Kenshin's parents were leaving him alone for two months? That didn't happen too often with most families, yet Mrs. Messina seemed to act like it happened all the time with his family. She wondered. Did it? Is that why he always acted like such a little arrogant ass?  
  
'He needs more friends.'  
  
"Hey, Tanuki, what is so interesting about my back that you haven't taken your eyes off it for the whole walk up here?"  
  
"Kenshin, I'm sorry for getting so pissed at you when the bat broke in the fourth grade. It was my fault."  
  
"That's what you were so worried about? I forgot that even happened. Now, if you don't mind, I have to get to my computer."  
  
Steam came out of Kaoru's ears. She ran back to the apartment, and put her laptop in the charger. About five minutes later, she pulled it out, and signed onto Instant Messenger.  
  
BattousaiBoy: Hey, what's happening?  
  
BokkenGirl: Don't ask, please don't ask.  
  
OWARI (for now)  
  
Yes, I know, that chapter was longer than usual. As always, comments are appreciated, if they are stupid and untrue; don't expect me to follow them. Well, here are the translations, as usual.  
  
bokken: wooden sword  
  
Tengoku: Heaven  
  
arigato: thank you  
  
Kami-sama: God  
  
oro: Huh! or What!  
  
baka: idiot, moron, stupid  
  
bokken: wooden sword  
  
tanuki: raccoon  
  
iie: no  
  
chibis: kids  
  
oniisan: big brother  
  
-chan: 1: a term used for people younger that 15. 2: a term of endearment  
(used between close friends also) (in the case of a younger person saying  
it to an older person, it is an insult)  
  
Jou-chan: little missy  
  
Sano no hentai! : Sano you pervert!  
  
konnichi wa: hello  
  
hai: yes  
  
owari: end 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Since I can't think of anything witty or snappy to put today, I'll just say this: I don't own Ruroni Kenshin, I never have, and I never will. Respect the real owners of the screen names, please, and don't Instant Message them. Unless, of course, you already DO know them.  
  
Author's Notes: Ok, still PG, still swearing, still AU, still possible random insane stupidity. OOC, and Kenshin and Kaoru might seem a little dense, but remember, they still don't know who the other one is, and they would never expect that is who they were talking to. Now that we have gotten that over with, you can * cough * should * cough * review and make my day, I am not in the mood to ramble. Now introducing the next chapter! * cheesy trumpet music plays *  
  
He's Two of the Same- Chapter Four- Confessions to Themselves  
  
Kaoru had been avoiding Kenshin a bit more than usual, if that was possible, and had been giving him the silent treatment. She hadn't called him anything tomato orientated in over a week, even when he started the shouting matches. Well, she had THOUGHT she was giving him the silent treatment.  
  
BokkenGirl: My life is becoming a bit sucky.  
  
BattousaiBoy: Why do you say that?  
  
BokkenGirl: I apologized to someone about something that happened a few years ago, but they acted so nasty.I really like the guy, and he seems to have more problems then I thought, and needs a few more friends.  
  
BattousaiBoy: Well, whoever this guy is, I think he should shut up and get a life, and be nicer to you.  
  
BokkenGirl: Arigato, I'll remember that.  
  
BattousaiBoy: You're welcome. I have no idea why, but I feel like I know you from somewhere. Is that possible?  
  
BokkenGirl: Yeah, I feel like I know you too. Kind of scary, don't you think?  
  
BattousaiBoy: Yup, maybe we've both just gone crazy.  
  
BokkenGirl: Haha, probably.  
  
------  
  
"Kaoru, you have been acting very weird since the day you got stuck in the elevator. May I ask, what is wrong with you?" Megumi asked her friend. It was Saturday, and Kaoru, Megumi, and Misao were at Megumi's house that included a strong air conditioning system. It was needed; the weather was hot and miserable.  
  
"Yeah, Kaoru, you have been acting different than normal. What's up?" Misao added.  
  
"I don't know you guys, I have to go watch Yahiko and Aoshi has to watch me watch him while dad is out, see ya."  
  
Kaoru walked out of the large house and back to the apartment. School had let out a few days ago, and there wasn't much to do. She was beyond pissed at Kenshin; she had realized she had a major crush on him, maybe more.  
  
She opened the door to the apartment, and opened the door. The sight before her would be forever engraved in her memory. Aoshi standing over the stove in a frilly pink apron, attempting to use a spatula on the pasta that was cooking. Yahiko walked in the room at that moment holding a camera, took a picture of his brother, and laughed until he almost puked.  
  
"EXTREME BLACKMAIL ON AOSHI!!! Oi, busu, you're finally home, do you think you could teach Aoshi to cook? Wait; forget that, I forgot, you CAN'T cook! Hahahahaha!"  
  
"Shut up, Yahiko-CHAN! Or do you want me to tell Tsubame-chan you're still in diapers?"  
  
"Hey! I have a small bladder, how can I help it? Unless I want to wet the futon * shudders *."  
  
Kaoru giggled, and pulled out a tape recorder she kept handy from her pocket. She played it back about three times to Yahiko's face. She smirked. Aoshi was still hunched over the stove with a spatula, attempting to do something unknown with the pasta before it burned.  
  
"I'll repeat your quote, EXTREME BLACKMAIL ON YAHIKO-CHAN!"  
  
"You are the stupidest tanuki ever!"  
  
"Am not!"  
  
"Are so!"  
  
"Am not!"  
  
"Are so!"  
  
"Are so!"  
  
"Glad you finally agree with me, Yahiko-chan!"  
  
"NO CHAN! And I never said I agre..."  
  
Yahiko was cut short by Aoshi taking his disposable camera, and Kaoru's tape recorder from their hands, and chucking them out the window. He dumped the very sooty remains of "dinner" in the garbage, and shed the apron.  
  
"Who wants McDonalds?" he asked with no emotion at all. Yahiko raised his hand.  
  
"That's ok, Aoshi, I think I'll just have a sandwich later, I'm not hungry right now."  
  
Aoshi and Yahiko left the apartment, and Kaoru stared out the window at Aoshi's car pulling out of the parking lot (A/N: In New York, you are allowed to get a license at 16, I have heard that it will be changed though), and walked to the small living room. She flipped on the TV, and turned it off when she saw there was nothing on. She heard something that sounded like metal being knocked over coming from her room.  
  
'Oh, Kami-sama, no, please don't let it be...'  
  
Unfortunately, it was exactly what she had thought it was. She had overheard Kenshin talking about a sleepover with Sanosuke earlier, and knew that in the lines of "Truth or Dare", boys usually did things that had to do with a girl's...  
  
"KENSHIN YUKI (A/N: Made that up) HIMURA, WHAT THE *beep, this is a PG fanfic* ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM, ESPECIALLY, WHAT THE *beep, this is a PG fanfic* ARE YOU DOING IN MY CLOTHING DRAWER!?!?!?!?!?!?"  
  
Kenshin put the article of clothing behind his back, and tried to make way for the air vent, but Kaoru had already hit him on the head with her bokken, and kneed him in the gut. She reached behind him, and pried her pajama boxers out of his grip, and then kicked him towards the wall where the air vent rested. He climbed up, pulled the grating back over the hole, and crawled back to his apartment. When he got there, Sanosuke was laughing hysterically.  
  
"Kenshin, you look like you just caught a round trip ride to Hell and back!"  
  
"Would you be surprised if I did? Look, I didn't get a garment, so you can ask me a truth."  
  
"Okay, do you like the Jou-chan one apartment over?"  
  
"ORO! Okay, hai, now, truth or dare?"  
  
------  
  
Kaoru had never looked happier in her life. Perhaps snooping was a good thing. After all, Kenshin would never admit he liked her to her face. She was walking on sunshine, er, moonlight.  
  
--- The next day ---  
Kaoru lay on her futon, not wanting to get up, she was too comfortable. She heard the buh-beep of an Instant Message, and realized Yahiko must have only been doing some hacking. Wait, what was she thinking!  
  
"Yahiko, by any chance, whose Instant Message account are you on?"  
  
"Yours, busu! I just needed to get to the internet and you had this set up so it went on as soon as you started your computer! I swear, I just turned it on, and some BattousaiBoy guy is talking!"  
  
Kaoru leapt out of bed. If BattousaiBoy was on, it was worth the fact she was still in a night shirt and boxers.  
  
BattousaiBoy: Yo! Did you just wake up, Sleepy Princess?  
  
BokkenGirl: Nope, I am just a piece of metal, and my bed is a magnet.  
  
BattousaiBoy: Haha, looks like somebody hasn't had their coffee yet!  
  
BokkenGirl: I hate coffee you smart ass...  
  
BattousaiBoy: Who said people drink it because it has any taste?  
  
BokkenGirl: You know, I was about to apologize for calling you a smart ass, but I take it back! You are one!  
  
BattousaiBoy: Hai, I know, I'm the biggest one in existence!  
  
BokkenGirl: Well, they do say that if you can't laugh at yourself, you can't laugh at anything. You are very good at laughing at yourself, you know that?  
  
BattousaiBoy: Hai, I do. You don't laugh about yourself enough, BG. Lighten up, have a little fun with life while you're above ground! Have you told off that other little male spitball yet?  
  
BokkenGirl: Iie, but I still will say what you said to tell me to him. Shut up, get a life, and be nicer to me, remember?  
  
BattousaiBoy: Yeah, of course. I remember all my quotes, at least the ones that are good for something.  
  
BokkenGirl: You don't have to remember many then...  
  
BattousaiBoy: Hey!  
  
BokkenGirl: It's called a JOKE. No, in reality, you are probably cramming your memory space with those quotes.  
  
BattousaiBoy: Awwww, has BG gone mushy on me? I think she has!  
  
BokkenGirl: In your dreams, you've gone soft on me!  
  
BattousaiBoy: Yeah, you've made me soft, and that is honest. Arigato.  
  
BokkenGirl: Well, big bro's gonna have kittens if I don't get there for breakfast RIGHT NOW. Bye, and don't worry, I'll tell the moron exactly what you told me to tell him today.  
  
BattousaiBoy: The order of my answers: I hope you weren't serious about kittens, bye-bye, and good luck with lame-brain!  
  
OWARI (for now)  
  
Yes, my first evil cliffie! Okay, if you have still been following with my story until now, I will have to tell you: the next chapter is the END. If anyone wants a sequel, tell me, but I won't know where to start for a while. I never intended for this story to be long, and this seems about as far as I am going. Here are the translations:  
  
arigato: thank you  
  
bokken: wooden sword  
  
oi: hey  
  
busu: hag, ugly  
  
-chan: 1: a term used for people younger that 15. 2: a term of endearment (used between close friends also) (in the case of a younger person saying it to an older person, it is an insult)  
  
tanuki: raccoon  
  
Kami-sama: God  
  
jou-chan: little missy  
  
oro: Huh! or What!  
  
hai: yes  
  
iie: no  
  
owari: end 


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Okay, no, I won't ever own RK, unless I am in Nobuhiro Watsuki- sama's will. Probably not...Once again, respect the real owners of the screen names, blah, blah.  
  
Author's Notes: Yes, it has come! The last chapter of this ficcie! It is composed of pure W.A.F.F. (warm and fuzzy feelings in case you didn't know) and kissy cuteness, maybe the occasional piece of humor. I have made it long, so hopefully enjoy. If I had put romance in the earlier chapters, it wouldn't have fit as well as it does now. Now, read it, so you can all get on with your lives and stop reading my rants! You're still here? Shoo, go away, read the ficcie!  
  
He's Two of the Same- Chapter 5- The Tragedy, the Romance, and the  
Happiness  
  
Kaoru left her laptop with a look of determination on her face. She WAS going to tell of Kenshin, and she WOULD enjoy the look on his handsome mug. She would really enjoy the look on his face. Or so she thought...  
  
Kaoru got dressed in a T-shirt and jean shorts, grabbed a piece of toast, and stuffed it in her mouth. She surprised both her brothers at the rate she was eating, and when she polished off the whole glass of juice in one gulp, they knew SOMETHING was happening.  
  
"Busu, you know, you're going to choke yourself!"  
  
"No comment! I have to go do something today, something important, and something that will most likely change my life forever!"  
  
Aoshi looked a bit surprised. The last time his sister had said that, she tried to walk to preschool. Of course, she got lost on the side streets, being only four at the time.  
  
Kaoru knocked on the next door neighbor's door, and Tsubame came out.  
  
"Konnichi wa, Kaoru-san, you just missed Kenshin."  
  
Kaoru ran out the apartment door, and avoided the elevator, running down seven long flights of stairs instead. She almost ran out the glass doors, but was stopped by the former third grade teacher sitting at the front desk.  
  
"Kaoru? Are you trying to lose weight or something? Why didn't you just take the elevator?"  
  
"Gomen, Mrs. M, but you do know what happened the last time I set foot in that thing?"  
  
"Ah, hai, you were caught in there with Kenshin for about an hour."  
  
"Speak of the devil, where is he?"  
  
"I have no idea, Kaoru, he just left."  
  
Kaoru ran out the automatic glass doors, or at least she thought she was going to. They didn't open up, and Kaoru found herself being the object of attention of many people's eyes.  
  
"I was going to warn you, Kaoru, the doors are busted, you have to take the side doors out!"  
  
Kaoru sighed agitatedly and dashed to the side doors. She knew where Kenshin could possibly be, she just had to get there before 10:00 AM. The boy's Kendo tournament. It wasn't going to start until about 12:00 PM, but if she showed up any later than 10, she would lose track of Kenshin. That, unfortunately, is exactly what happened.  
  
------  
  
In the boys' locker room at the Kendo tournament, Sanosuke and Kenshin were hanging out while getting dressed in the gi's they were assigned to wear. Kenshin grabbed Sanosuke's shoulders, spun him around so his back was facing Kenshin's face, and Kenshin ripped another small pink note off Sanosuke's white and black gi.  
  
"What does it say this time?"  
  
"I am the re-embodiment of Jimmy III (mentioned in first chapter)."  
  
"Why do they love doing this to me?"  
  
"Because you are the only one who never notices he has it on his back."  
  
"Thanks, Kenshin, that hurts. Hey, is that the teach over there? SHIT! Why is she in the MALE locker rooms!?"  
  
Kenshin looked around, and sure enough, the female kendo teacher was at the door of the boy's locker rooms with her hand over her eyes. She yelled a quick notification that the tournament had been postponed because of a small fire that had started at the refreshment stalls.  
  
"Dangit, Kenshin, I was so prepared to kick your ass for a reminder of those smart alleck remarks you coughed up."  
  
"Wait a week, and maybe you will kick my ass, Sano. Or we could ask for afternoon passes and spar right here, right now."  
  
"You're on, Kenshin my man!"  
  
------  
  
Kaoru soon found out that the competition was temporarily postponed, so she would have to find Kenshin some other way. She looked around at spots Kenshin would normally hang out at, and felt herself having a strong feeling something bad was happening. When her mother had died of leukemia, Kaoru seemed to have known it happened 20 minutes before she was finally told. The same feeling was in the pit of her stomach right now. Her father was supposed to be taking two long plane fights to get back to America, he had been visiting Japan. She was wondering how the flights were going. Reality struck her. Bad feeling+ father taking airplanes + cloudy airspace = possible.........crash.  
  
"I-I sh-should g-g-g-go home an-and s-see that everything's ok." Kaoru said to herself, her voice quivering with tears. She started running back to the apartment complex in the center of town. A car horn sounded behind her, and Kaoru turned around. Aoshi was driving in the family car with Yahiko crying and hugging Tsubame in the back seat, who also was in the small car.  
  
"Kaoru, otosan, he..."  
  
"Aoshi, I already know. This is just o-o-one big j-j-j-j-joke, right? Right? Aoshi, this can't be true! I-I-I'll b-be back l-l-l- later!!!" Kaoru yelled, throwing her pride to the dogs, and sobbing. She ran. She ran as far and as fast as she could. It was all she could think of doing. Running, running further and further away, away from her fear and sorrow back at the apartment complex. She passed the dojo, and saw Sanosuke running out and grabbing her wrists.  
  
"Sano let me go!"  
  
"No, Jou-chan, I can't. Everything will be okay, I swear. You know you can trust me, right?"  
  
"Shut up Sano! You have never had such a loss as parents! Both of them, damn it!"  
  
Kaoru freed herself from Sanosuke's grip, and ran again. This was not the perfect day she planned. In fact, she wanted it all to stop. She was on a spinning cycle that wasn't stopping for her anytime soon, and she NEEDED it to stop.  
  
------  
  
Sanosuke walked back into the dojo very, very upset.  
  
"Sano, what's wrong?"  
  
"Jou-chan's old man's plane crashed in the Atlantic, and he is currently missing. I think she immediately assumed he's dead and was never told about this."  
  
Kenshin looked like he had just died and been resurrected for more pain. He couldn't believe this. He was fully aware that Kaoru's father was the only parent she had left. Kenshin felt heartbroken.  
  
"We shall finish our bout later, Sano, which way did she go?"  
  
"Down that block right there, you should catch up to her easy with your speed."  
  
Kenshin ran out of the dojo, still in his gi and hakama. He used his god-like speed to catch up to Kaoru, which happened easily. He saw her in the tree at the edge of the town, crying.  
  
"Kaoru! I...I heard what happened. I never realized you had this much pain on you, and I didn't know what was the right thing to do! I am so sorry for all these years I was a jerk! In truth, I never wanted you to hate me, and I think I may want to become closer to you!"  
  
Kaoru climbed down from the hiding spot in the tree. Her eyes were too big for her face, which was red and tear stained. She looked at Kenshin in surprise. She gave a dry chuckle.  
  
"You know, I was going to tell you that you should shut up, get a life, and be nicer today then confess my feelings for you, but I didn't think my day would be this bad..."  
  
"ORO!"  
  
"I thought you knew my otosan died today, Kenshin."  
  
"I-I-I-Iie! I just never forget my good advice! And I am cramming my memory space with all of it! You are aware that people don't drink coffee because it has any taste, right (if you can't remember this, go back to chapter 4 and re-look it up)?"  
  
Kaoru couldn't believe it. Those were almost exact excerpts from her conversation with BattousaiBoy this morning. That meant...  
  
"You're BattousaiBoy, aren't you Kenshin?"  
  
"Hai, and your BokkenGirl, right?"  
  
"Hai, and let me get this straight: we have been-"  
  
"Talking to each other this whole time?"  
  
"Hai, smart ass."  
  
"Gomen, I can't help it, I'm the biggest one in-"  
  
"We know baka-tomato-atama."  
  
"Back to the insults?"  
  
"Of course!"  
  
"Then excuse me while I think of a better one, hold on."  
  
Kenshin put his finger to his lips pretending to think about what he was going to say next. Kaoru looked at him with impatience in her eyes, tapping her foot against the sidewalk. He put on a smirk that screamed "I have a bright idea!" right in her face.  
  
"You are beautiful, sweet, adorable, smart, a great person, and someone who has dealt with too much unhealed pain, leaving scars in her wondrous mind. Those are the best insults I can give now."  
  
Kaoru looked amazed. Their faces were getting closer and closer, their breath seeping into each others mouths. Her eyes widened, she had only dreamt of being this close to Kenshin.  
  
"Then, Kenshin? I don't think I need to hear your complements."  
  
"You do know that your father is also a wonderful man who I have always looked up to, since my own father is lazy and can't do the least bit of work? Well, if I know him right, he wouldn't want to see you crying right now. I mean, Kaoru-chan, understand this: he might not be dead yet. I can sense it, he's alive. So please don't cry."  
  
There were a few short moments of silence, both Kenshin and Kaoru lost in each others eyes. Kaoru took note that she was in a position that seemed like her and Kenshin were about to kiss each other. So that is exactly what she did. Pushing up off her toes an inch or two, and gripping Kenshin's jacket, Kaoru touched his lips with hers. Blushing profusely, she quickly pushed away from Kenshin and stared at the cement for a few seconds. Kaoru snapped her head back up.  
  
"Wait, he ISN'T dead yet!? I thought that's what...I mean...that's what Aoshi was trying to tell me all along!?"  
  
"Hai, Kaoru-chan, he is going to come back home in one living piece, I swear. You may not believe me, but I know it is true."  
  
"K-Kenshin........."  
  
Kaoru looked straight in his eyes again, noticing he looked face- fallen. She put her hand on his left cheek, feeling the rough skin of the crossed scars under her hand. She stood on her toes again, and pressed her forehead to his, gripping his shoulder with her other hand to keep her balanced.  
  
"I will always believe you, Kenshin; you don't ever need to worry about that. A-A-A-Aishiteru, Kenshin."  
  
"Aishiteru, Kaoru-koishii."  
  
Kenshin wrapped his arms around Kaoru's waist, and kissed her. She kissed him back, pulling her arms around his neck, holding him tightly.  
  
"Kaoru-koishii, I will never let you deal with the horrible pain of life alone again."  
  
"I know, Kenshin, I know. Arigato."  
  
------  
  
From the bushes, the two didn't know that many pairs of eyes were on them. That's correct, Sanosuke, Megumi, Tsubame, Yahiko, Ayame, Suzume, Misao, and Aoshi were spying. Tsubame shielded her eyes when they kissed again.  
  
"Oi, Tsubame, what's so gross about my sister and your brother kissing?" Yahiko asked.  
  
"I'm just not really used to watching it."  
  
Yahiko pecked her once on the lips. Tsubame turned very, very red, and her eyes widened a bit.  
  
"Can ya watch it now?"  
  
"H-Hai."  
  
Sanosuke snickered at the two kids, and continued watching his best friend and cousin. Megumi was right next to him, trying to push his head out of her view. Aoshi was just sitting against a tree, with a chattering Misao in front of him. Ayame and Suzume were on Sanosuke's shoulders for a better view.  
  
"So, this is the end?" asked Sanosuke.  
  
"Iie, it's the beginning, tori-atama."  
  
"Hey, shut up, Megitsune!"  
  
"Who asked you, niwatori?"  
  
---About 4 months after these incidents---  
  
Kaoru hopped out of the futon. The good old weekend, but she had a weird feeling that something great was going to happen today. She and Kenshin were boyfriend/girlfriend by now, and the new school cute couple award was given to Sanosuke and Megumi. Kaoru, Yahiko, and Aoshi had managed to keep their lives in one piece while their father was still not back, but they never lost hope. Kenshin's father, Hiko Himura, had funded them to help pay for bills.  
  
"Yo, wake up sleepy princess!" Kaoru heard from the vent.  
  
"Kenshin, you are a wonderful alarm clock, but I am afraid I am already awake."  
  
"Too bad, I'm gonna be an alarm clock every morning you are living! Hey, Tsubame wants to say something!"  
  
Tsubame yelled into the air vent, "TURN ON CHANNEL FOUR (don't own it)!"  
  
If Tsubame, the little girl who's voice resembled a mouse's squeak, screamed, something big was happening. Kaoru bolted out of the room, and ran to the TV, immediately flipping on channel four. What she saw before her was something she had been waiting to see for four months, and never expected it to actually come on.  
  
"So, Mr. Kamiya, can you give us a brief description of you and the other people trapped in the plane's journey?"  
  
"We were in the ocean a few days, and then a ship managed to save us. We were stuck on it for a few weeks, and then they dropped us at a small island to rest up. We had to take another ship, and here we are. Unfortunately, the pilot wasn't found. I should be back to my daughter and two sons in a few days, if you are watching this Aoshi, Kaoru, and Yahiko."  
  
Kaoru gaped at the screen. Yahiko walked in the room, and gaped with her. Once the commercials came on, they both yelled in happiness.  
  
"I don't believe it busu! Otosan is coming back!"  
  
"Neither can I, Yahiko-chan!"  
  
Yahiko jumped on his sister, and she hugged him. They spun around a bit, and Aoshi walked in with his traditional pink apron on.  
  
"What is so wonderful?" he asked in his usual voice.  
  
"OTOSAN'S ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" both Kaoru and Yahiko screamed at the top of their lungs. Aoshi for once, put on a genuine smile.  
  
Kenshin watched through the vent.  
  
"So, the little broken family has been put back together. This is absolutely wonderful, isn't it, Tsubame? Tsubame? Where'd she go...?"  
  
Kenshin looked back in the vent, and saw her hugging Yahiko tightly. He smiled, and went to join the others.  
  
OWARI  
  
* sobs * It's over, it's over, WHY!? I have a tough time ending ficcies,  
sorry that the ending was so cruddy! I will try and make a sequel, maybe  
start a "He's Two of the Same" thing with Aoshi and Misao or something?  
Maybe Sanosuke and Megumi although I am not very good with that pairing?  
Oh, and I do know I put very slight Yahiko/Tsubame cute stuff, you don't  
need to flame me for the fact I went off the original pairing, I just  
think they are adorable together! In fact, I have a VERY good idea for  
one of those now, but I won't spoil it! E-mail me if you want me to  
spoil it! And you can review while you are at it!  
  
Translations:  
  
busu: hag, ugly  
  
konnichi wa: hello  
  
-san: Mr. / Mrs. / Ms.  
  
gomen: sorry  
  
hai: yes  
  
otosan: father  
  
jou-chan: little missy  
  
oro: Huh! or What!  
  
iie: no  
  
baka-tomato-atama: stupid tomato brain (tomato in Japanese is the same as in the English language)  
  
-chan: 1: a term used for people younger that 15. 2: a term of endearment (used between close friends also) (in the case of a younger person saying it to an older person, it is an insult)  
  
aishiteru: I love you  
  
koishii: beloved; cherished  
  
arigato: thank you  
  
oi: hey  
  
tori-atama: bird brain  
  
niwatori: chicken  
  
owari: end 


End file.
